World of Raycraft

Gee, my last post was about eating shark and driving a camaro? Good to see School has completely destroyed my will to live. Well, or at least Blog. Maybe I can frankenstein this thing back to life.

Here we go… a little more electricity… annnnnnd…

Fuck, it’s been a while hasn’t it? You’d think with three or four months of NOT posting I might actually have something to say. I really don’t, but I figure that over my 28 years of gracing this planet with my presence I could offer some sage and wondrous advice.

First off: The master plan can blow me.

Is there some all encompassing plan for everyone on earth? Fucked if I know. What I do know is, if there is one, it’s pretty shitty. Essentially if there is some master plan, that everything is working towards, it might have been a better idea for this “plan” to be the “flying V” from the Mighty Ducks movies. Though, if the master plan IS responsibly to the unseasonably awesome weather we had a week or so ago, I could be made to come around. You hear that master plan? Nicer weather, and maybe a lottery winnings or two. Yeeeah.

When Life gives you Lemons… you ask for tequila and salt.

A good friend of mine (Tatiana) once said something like: “If like gives you lemons, you say ‘fuck that’ and throw them back”. The traditional saying is “If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade”. I like both lemonade and being belligerent, but tequila and salt seems like the best option for lemons. Also, if Life is giving you Lemons on some tropical beach… (you might want to pay attention here master plan) tequila is just the natural choice.

Duct Tape CAN fix anything

This is just a scientific fact. Proven with science.

Nothing is Priceless

Especially if you have connections on the black market. Just saying!

Treat people how you want to be treated

Holy fuck, this one is actually mostly serious. This is something we’ve heard a million times, our mothers probably beat this into us when we were young… yet more often it seems to be forgotten. People can be harsh and cruel. I’ve worked in retail, and some other jobs where you REALLY get to see the type of people that are out there. It can be pretty damned sad to see how we can treat other people. I am by no means perfect, heck, I’m about as flawed as you can get, but there is one rule I try my hardest to live by: I try to treat others how I’d want them to treat me.

Now I can vanish for another 4 months!

Damn, where has the summer gone? Was it even really here? I just remember a fair bit of rain.

Summer, for me, was rather busy. The first half I spent working downing trees and hauling brush, allowing me to add “Lumberjack” to my rather odd list of former “careers”. Since then I’ve been working at the local school board helping implement a SharePoint Web Portal for the entire board.

I now hate SharePoint, and I will detail that hatred in a later post, I am sure.

Other then that, my summer’s been busy with trying to be as social as possible, rebuilding my WoW Guild (which has worked out rather well, due to the quality of folks that are members. You guys rock), and trying to get everything ready for the upcoming school year.

… Ok, I have nothing ready for the upcoming school year, and I think I’m getting screwed over by the College Residence. Goddamnit, I’m starting to hate school. I need a Plan B before I go more nuts.

But to balance out the bad, there is always the good.

This past weekend was good.

How good? I ate shark and drove a 2010 Camaro.

Ok, let me go more into depth. It was a good friend of mine, Mike Campbell’s, birthday, and to celebrate we went down to Toronto. He and his girlfriend Melissa were going to see a concert (Great Big Sea and Spirit of the West). I was going to hang out with my good friends Scott Wilson and Alison Casey. We arrived Friday afternoon and proceeded to meet up and drink in Mike’s hotel room before heading to the Keg to enjoy the last weekend of Lobster Summer. Going to Lobster Summer has become a sort of tradition. Last year I had a lobster with the claw the size of my face. Oh yeah, it was good. After good food, and good drinks, we stumbled down the street, first to the Beer Market, which was packed, and rather whorey, then to Fionn MacCools. We used to have one of those in North Bay, and it was nice to sit, drink and listen to a live band. From there Mike and Melissa returned to their hotel, and I subway’d it back to Scott’s place with him and Ali.

Saturday morning was relaxing, having a delicious breakfast and watching the Chronz then Cannonball Run. In the afternoon we headed to the CNE. After a nice walk along the waterfront, we bee-lined for the beer tent. I got to try my first Bud Light w/ Lime. It was my last. We wandered the grounds and came across the GMC area, where they were letting people try to test drive their cars (and give those who did a 10$ gas card). You could drive a Camaro or Corvette if you drove one of their other cars first. Yeah, they had some pretty average “other” cars, but we managed to get the Cadillac CTS, which was surprisingly sweet. After a 10 minute test drive of that, we waited for our chance at a Camaro or Corvette. Scott managed to get the Corvette, and while he tore up the streets, I waited patiently. Eventually, a yellow 400hp Camaro pulled up infront of me.

I MAY have broken a few laws while driving that Camaro, specifically going 80km/h in a 6… and possibly making an illegal U-turn… but it was a fun drive, and surprisingly comfortable. Scott mentioned the Corvette felt every bump on the road, the Camaro didn’t have such a problem. I got paid 10 bucks to drive really fast in a sweet car I could only dream of. Good day so far.

After that we picked up some groceries from the Grocery Store (and from the LCBO) and headed over to Alison’s place. We met up with her friend Kendra, and drank. And ate. But mostly drank.

I managed to finally try the beer suggested to me by Adam Lonero: Maudite. It came in a 750mL bottle and was excellent. I full endorse any beer named after a magical flying canoe powered by satan so the rowers could get home for Christmas. I also tried Lancaster Ale (based completely on it’s name) and the old standby of Innis and Gunn. After a drunken walk back to Scott’s, we called it a night and prepared for Sunday.

Sunday started with a subway ride to Mike’s Hotel (the Novotel), and lunch at the Marche by the Hockey Hall of Fame. It took me a while to decide what I wanted to eat…. but at the seafood booth, I saw the Catch of the Day. It was shark. It would be in my belly.

Shark was pretty good. A bit like pork, or salty chicken. I rather enjoyed it. I am now a T-rex away from being the ultimate apex predator of all time. After that we headed to a Jays game. I had forgotten how boring Baseball was. Luckily, there was some annoying kid behind us that took a boring baseball game and made it worse by his “explaining” everything to his mother or older prostitute or something.

We left in the 8th inning to make our trip back to the Bay. All in all it was a good weekend, and I look forward to getting back down South for the fall term… if the school doesn’t screw me over.

Whew. Does that make up for a month of not writing? Probably not. It’s all you’re getting… for now.

At the request of Tatiana, I figure I should post again. June was a crazy month for me, I ended up employed, not once, but twice. First I spent two weeks doing manual labour in the summer sun, hauling chunks of trees we were cutting down. Then, two weeks ago, I was called in for an interview with the Near North School Board, and ended up getting a summer position with them. The last two weeks have been me trying to learn Microsoft Sharepoint and getting used to the idea of a desk job.

This week, however, is a short one, thanks to the holiday known as “Canada Day”. Which is today. Also, I’ve taken Friday off to go on my annual camping trip with Mike, Scott, Ali and Melissa. We’re bound for Port Burwell Provincial Park after a short stopover in Toronto on Thursday night (and a few pints at MacKenzie’s, how I’ve missed that).

I started MY Canada Day celebrations last night by cooking the ultimate hamburger(s).

Oh yes, that’s my BBQ glory from last evening…

• 2 Beef Patties per burger
• A slathering of Guinness BBQ Sauce
• Cheddar AND Mozzerella cheese
• Bacon!
• And…. A side of Bacon!

It was enjoyed with a few cold beers, and made for a pretty good dinner.

I’ll cut it short now, but as my new job is much less physically exhausting you can expect to see more updates from me… at least… after this camping weekend, of course.

TODAY’S DAILY QUEST: Beer, Beef and BBQ

Once upon a time, many (or 8 ) years ago, a great declaration was made: June 2nd shall henceforth be known as National Intoxication Day. Thusly on June 2nd, it is deemed nessecary that you inbibe some alcohol, or much alcohol. And for the past 8 years, I have honoured this noble tradition (that I also started).

Furthermore, it has come to my knowledge that since 1975, June 2nd has become International Whores Day (link).

National Intoxication Day and International Whores Day? Could today be any better?

Yeah,  it could. It’s also my Birthday. Happy Birthday to me, I know how to celebrate this year — Ale and Whores!

Yes, it snowed this morning. It’s all gone now… but still. THAT’S JUST NOT RIGHT

We’ve had a streak of fairly bad weather here, which has interfered a bit with my walking plan. Doing 5k in the pouring rain really didn’t seem like a good idea this morning.

Speaking of walking… for the first time in a long time, I have good shoes for it. Which is interesting. Interesting because I’ve apparently been walking “wrong” for quite sometime. Interesting because you can actually feel your feet being forced to walk properly. It’s amazing how it seems to affect how you sit and stand too. 

Trying to plan things to do has been interesting because of the weather, because no-one seems to be able to predict how it’s going to be. The weekend, which yesterday was forecast to be rainy, is now supposed to be mostly sunny for Friday and Saturday for the very least. Tomorrow snow will probably be forecast. I’m just hoping the 18C and sunny forecast for Tuesday is accurate. Who doesn’t want excellent weather on National Intoxication Day.

Speaking of which, our plan to pre-Celebrate this weekend seems to be going to post-Celebrate next weekend. And instead of South, we’re going West, to Sudbury… it seems. We’ll see how the next week changes THOSE plans too.

Actually, they’re not. But initial weekend plans have fallen through due to the need to replace wheelbearings. Not that it’s a bad thing. Scott’s in Illinois till late Friday anyways, and after a three week romp through Europe Carl and Paula wouldn’t mind a quiet weekend.

I wonder if that’s a sign of getting old. Wheelbearings, business trips and quiet weekends. With a week away from twenty eight it’s sorta scary that I might soon have to be responsible. Mature. Grown Up.

Well, now I need to figure out a Plan B for the weekend. Unfortunately this Plan B will involve North Bay, which is never really that fun. I suppose I could always drive down to Toronto solo, but… That takes the fun out of a road trip.

On the plus side, Friday and Sunday are supposed to be nice weatherwise. Whatever we do we should have good weather to go with it. The question is… What should we do?

Ah well, we’ll figure something out. We always do. Wish us luck!

I’d use the excuse I’ve been very busy lately… but that’d be a huge lie.  Sure, I guess I was kinda busy last weekend with the rather successful May TwoFour Party, then cleaning up after said May TwoFour Party, but other then that, I’ve just been hoboing about.

As usual, Springtime around here leads to a variety of furry animals showing up. This year it’s been a bunny or two, and a couple of deer. Yesterday, I went out onto my deck to turn on the BBQ to cook steaks for myself, Jon and Anne, when I turned and saw a Deer 5 feet away from me. For about a second. It darted off pretty quick. I wonder what the deer was doing on the deck? (Likely trying to eat on some flowers in the little garden at the end of the deck) 

Right Days till I’m 28. Wow. You’d think that at some point in time over the past 28 years I’d have become a responsible, upstanding, decent adult. You’d be wrong if you thought that, however. I just don’t picture myself as approaching thirty. In my mind, I guess I’m still 20 or something, doing stupid shit and avoiding growing up as much as possible. I look at some of my friends and they’re getting married and having kids. I can’t fathom that sort of adultness. 

But, since I’m turning 28, that must mean my Birthday is coming up. In past years folks have come up to North Bay and we’ve gotten drunk. Chris and Tatiana have done that the past two years, hauling Adam along last year for shits and giggles. We’d drink, watch movies, drink… and drink. It’s not happening this year, Adam’s in Montreal, and Chris and Tatiana have a +1 in a four and a half month old daughter (who you can keep tabs on at http://www.averygoodyear.net). But… my birthday always seems to be the gateway to summertime. The May Long Weekends as of late haven’t been the best weatherwise, but the first weekend in June? It’s always been pretty decent for cooking, drinking, and making smores. With folks not being able to make it up, it’s likely this year I’ll be doing something different. Sounds like Jon, Anne and Myself might be taking a Southern tour this weekend, visiting with Scott and Ali, and Carl and Paula, at the very least. 

That’s a lot of randomness. Let’s hope I get a bit better with my posting, and a bit more organized with my thoughts.

I’m glad some people never look at something and go “That’s good enough.”

Can you imagine what the world would be like if that was the case? Look at ice cream. Someone invents plain old vanilla ice cream and then the world goes “Good Enough!?”

No way. Look at the advances we have made in ice creamology since that point. First they decide to make it chocolate flavour. A world without chocolate ice cream? Screw that, I don’t wanna live there. Then some outstanding person figured that if they can make CHOCOLATE ice cream, what else can they make? Strawberry? Cookie Dough? We’re talking every flavour on the ice cream evolutionary scale from Vanilla to Rocky Fucking Road. Yeah, sure Vanilla was good enough.

Oh, it didn’t stop there. Ice cream in a dish? Perfectly acceptable. But some hero decided that he didn’t like washing dishes and invented the ice cream cone. “Let’s make something delicious and put it in a container that is also delicious and edible.” This concept has been expanded to other things, like chili and bread bowls. If you don’t like chili in bread bowls, there is something seriously wrong with you. But… a cone wasn’t enough. A plain old cone? I was good… but “Good Enough”? No way. Enter the waffle cone. I have no idea who’s idea it was pi x radius x length a waffle, but they should have gotten a noble prize or a gold medal in the fucking awesome at life olympics. I seriously hope this guy reproduced, because that sort of wintelligence just needs to continue to exist. From waffle cones, you go to dipped waffle cones, to waffle bowls. It’s come full circle, and it’s GENIUS.

So, now you’ve got a billion flavours and various delicious ice cream storing devices… that’s good enough, right?

Wrong. And I’m so glad someone wasn’t willing to say “Good Enough!”. You need some toppings for that ice cream. We’ve all been to those all-you-can eat buffets with the ice cream bar, we all know you can put anything from chocolate sauce to little tiny M&Ms on that ice cream. Surely it’s now… GOOD ENOUGH.

Wrong. Enter the apex predator of the ice cream evolutionary chart. The Drum Stick. Think of all the shit that’s gone into that marvel of ice creamology. You’ve got a waffle cone…. dipped… AND COATED IN THE INSIDE with chocolate. Did I blow your mind? Wait for it. Not only is there ice cream in this cone, but there’s even a core of chocolate or caramel right down the middle of that frozen delight. THAT’S NOT ALL! Chocolate and nuts on top? Fuck yeah. But vanilla ice cream was good enough, right?

Sure, the Drumstick is the pinnicle of ice creamology, but it’s got a couple of offshots: Ice cream treats like chocolate coated ice cream on a stick, those creepy ice cream cartoon character faces on a stick, the elusive ice cream taco, and pretty much every chocolate bar EVER in ice cream form. Can you imagine the world we’d live in if someone had though vanilla ice cream in a little dish was “Good Enough”.

Of course, this doesn’t just apply to ice cream. It applies to everything. Next time you look at something awesome, don’t just accept it’s awesomeness, think about what you could add to it to make it even more awesome.

Follow what Ice Creamology has taught you.

Today’s Daily Quest: Add Chain Saws to my car.

Ok, whoever the jack-ass that decided they’d ruin a wonderful season like spring by adding allergies can go fuck themselves in the face RIGHT NOW.

Seriously. Yesterday was horrible, between being hopped up on Otravin and being unable to breath through my nose, I tried everything I could to get some relief.

I walked, tried to let the sun loosen the mucus up, I used that nasal irrigation thingy, I took hot showers, but nothing seemed to work. Last night I got the worst night’s sleep ever… but… I’m feeling better today… so far.

Getting hit by that brick wall of allergies happens every spring, and I’ve not found a really good way to deal with it. I had fewer problems with them when I was down in Toronto, I suppose being surrounded by less “nature” did wonders for that. It’s too bad, I enjoy nature, especially in spring time. I just hate being stuffed up to the point that I feel the only solution is to get two sticks of dynamite up my nose and light the fuse.

Today’s Daily Quest: Breathe